Dear World,

It’s been a minute, and I have a lot of changes. I am now a married man, been married for 9 months legally, and now 3 months post the wedding. And boy I am learning and learning. I decided to pick up this book and continue my original plan of summarizing the whole thing, so I hope you all enjoy this journey with me. Again, this is mainly tailored for men to read, and if you are a woman, it’s probably best if you do not read it, but regardless here we go!

The format is as follows:

Summary Statement: This will be a 2-3 sentence summary of the entire chapter.

Key Takeaways: This will highlight maybe 2-3 key takeaways from the chapter.

Key Q/As: This is optional, but I will list some of the key questions/problems they notice in men, as well as the answers.

Summary Statement

It is not good for man to be alone. A woman allows men to become a complete human and truly grow our faith in Christ. Marriage reveals the real you and refines you into looking like the Messiah. Marriage does not make sense, because it isn’t a natural occurrence, it’s supernatural. He who finds a wife finds a good thing.

Key Takeaways and Q/As

Q: What does the bible say about single vs married?

Apostle Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7:28 “…those who marry will experience distress in this life, and I would spare you that.” Everyone who marries has worldly troubles and concerns of some sort. Both good and bad marriages have world troubles, but a bad marriage makes it even worse. Paul also says later in the same chapter “I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the affairs of the Lord, how to please the Lord; but the married man is anxious about the affairs of the world, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried woman and the virgin are anxious about the affairs of the Lord, so that they may be holy in body and spirit; but the married woman is anxious about the affairs of the world, how to please her husband.” So, as a single man (or woman) we are better able to serve God.

HOWEVER, the real question is as single men and women, how well are we doing seeking God. Marriage is not for everyone, Jesus says in Matthew 19:11-12, “But he said to them, ‘Not everyone can accept this teaching, but only those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let anyone accept this who can.” So, marriage is for anyone who can accept it, and not everyone accepts it. Most men are not eunuchs, so marriage can be a tool to help get us closer to God.

On page 19-20 of “Adam Loves Eve” it says:

Most men are not of spiritual caliber to benefit at all from the single live. Very few men are on the level of Paul, John the Baptist, or Jesus. Other than Paul and Apostle John, so far as we know, all the apostles had wives. Paul even said in 1 Corinthians 9:5 “Do we not have the right to be accompanied by a believing wife, as do the other apostles and the brothers of the Lord and Cephas?” Most single men use the single life to indulge their own selfish desires and inclinations (I AM GUILTY). They collect toys and play games. They spend their time chasing amusements and pleasures. They waste the potential that God has invested in them on vanity and idleness. That is why God designed marriage– to correct men and make us whole. Except in rare cases, the single man does not serve God, he serves himself.

A married man, on the other hand, must learn to live like the Messiah by dying to self and sacrificing for another… The married man learns to serve God by serving his wife, and as he serves his wife, he serves God. This is one reason is not good for man to be alone.

In conclusion, being single gives us an opportunity to focus our lives on seeking God, but as singles we tend to serve ourselves more than God. A true godly marriage will for us to die to ourselves and serve God by serving our wives.

Q: Does marriage help us get closer to God? And how?

As mentioned above, marriage does help us get closer to God. As mentioned in page 20 of “Adam Loves Eve”: Marriage is God’s primary testing ground of faith and spiritual growth. As singles we can show that we are good Christians at church and outsides of our home, but we can act very different and “worldly” when we are alone. However, a married man cannot fool his wife. She knows the real man, the real sinner. The way we treat oir mistreat our wives and the way we react when they mistreat us reveals the real you. Marriage reveals the real you.

*If your wife doesn’t like the real you, it’s likely because you have a lot of sin and sinful attitudes that need to be fixed. This is how marriage helps us get closer to God.*

Marriage will come with trials and tests but if we pass them successfully our character will be more refined to be like Jesus and we will obtain the prize of a peaceful home (shalom bayit).

Q: Who or what is your partner?

According to Genesis 2:20, “…but for the man there was not found a helper as his partner. ” As Adam was doing his work, God noticed he did not have a suitable helper or partner. Our wives serve as helpers to help us get closer to God, and as we get closer to God, our wives get closer to God. At the same time, our wives serve as “Spiritual Barometers.” When we are close to God, our wives will draw to us, but when we are far from God, our wives may find us more repulsive. “A wife reflects a man’s inner self like a mirror. The LORD uses a man’s wife to speak to him.” An example is seen when the Lord spoke to Abraham about Sarah in Genesis 21:12.

Our wives will be a helper when we are close to God, but if we aren’t close to God, she is still a helper because she will let you know about it!

Q: Does marriage even make sense?

Even in today’s age, there is a lot of people that despise marriage or find it a waste of time. The truth is marriage is not a natural phenomenon; it is a divine institution.

In “Adam Loves Eve” the author placed a bunch of good questions:

1. Is marriage the solution to man’s loneliness? No, a dog can help fix that.
2. Is marriage the solution for help in life tasks? No, a wife is not just a “man’s helper,” you can hire someone to do that, and it will be much cheaper.
3. Is marriage about sexual gratisfaction? No, many men find marriage to be more sexually frustrating than gratifying, and most men (and women) find better sexual solutions outside constraints of marriage.
4. Is marriage biologically convenient? No, most animals and mammals do not mate with a single spouse for life. And most humans don’t even do that.
5. Is marriage just for the purpose of raising children? While it is true, that a marriage can allow a good environment for raising children, but that isn’t always the case. There are plenty of dysfunctional families with both parents in the home. And the opposite is true as well, there are many good marriages without any children. And most importantly once the kids are grown and out of the homes, the marriage is still there.
6. So, does marriage makes sense? NO! Instead it defies the laws of nature, therefore making a  “supernatural sense.” It supernatural/divine institution because God ordained it.

There are many other things that I did not take out from the book. Please purchase the book if you are interested, I do have an extra book for any reader who really wants it. Please let me know if you have any questions.

The next chapter in the series is called “The Greatest Commandment.” Please look forward to it!

v/r

Ayodeji Alaketu