Reading time: 8.5 minutes
Dear World,
I’m happy to have restarted this series. I really enjoy blogging, as it gives me time to dive deep into my knowledge of scripture and put it down on paper (or screen). So here we go with Chapter 2!
The format is as follows:
Summary Statement: This will be a 2-3 sentence summary of the entire chapter.
Key Takeaways: This will highlight maybe 2-3 key takeaways from the chapter.
Key Q/As: This is optional, but I will list some of the key questions/problems they notice in men, as well as the answers.
Summary Statement:
The most important obligation for a married man before God is to love his wife. If we cannot properly love our wives, we cannot properly love God. If we do not love our wives, we are breaking two of the most important commandments (Matthew 22:37-40). If we live with selfless love and spiritual unity, we will create shalom bayit, which means a peaceful home. It’s not easy to consistently show this love, just like if you start golfing, it may take time and practice to be a good golfer, so it will take time and practice to be a good loving husband.
Key Takeaways:
The Greatest Commandment
For married men, the greatest commandment is to love our wives. If we do not properly love our wives, we will not properly love God. Let’s look at 1 John 4:20-21, and let’s replace the word brother with wife!
1 John 4:20-21 (edited for brother -> wife)
If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his wife, he is a liar; for he who does not love his wife whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his wife.
Therefore, loving (and serving) our wives is necessary in order to love God.
Serving God
Q: Is serving God more important than meeting the needs of your wife?
NO! This ideology is a spiritual blunder.
The book says it like this on page 29.
“A man’s relationship with his wife is the most important thing in his spiritual life. It serves as a spiritual barometer. It is God’s greatest test of a man. The man who sacrifices his marriage for the sake of serving God destroys both his marriage and his service of God. He FAILS the test.”
As a believer, there should be nothing more important than serving God. And Apostle Paul warns us that we should not be married because if we do, we will divide our efforts between pleasing God and pleasing our wife. And this could easily become a problem since we cannot serve two masters. The solution is to understand that pleasing our wife is an important way to please God. By serving our wives, we are serving God. And we have to understand that we are actually not serving our wife, we are serving GOD by serving our wife.
On page 29: “Therefore, the man who loves and serves his wife is loving and serving God. He does not love her more than God. He does not serve her instead of God. He loves her because he loves God. He serves her because he serves God.”
Conclusion:
As a married man of 3 months, I learned a lot from this chapter. Loving my wife seems easy, but the love God talks about here comes from God! I love video games, I love free food, I love One Piece. I love my job, I love my family, I love my cats. But that love does not compare to the love I have for God. God rescued me from sin and loved me first. He protected me and blessed me in amazing ways. And he forgave and continually forgives me when I’m wrong. That same love I have for God is the love I need to have for my wife. Except even stronger! I love God because he loved me first. But I need to love my wife just like how God loves me.
Ephesians 5:25 -33 says:
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, in order to make her holy by cleansing her with the washing of water by the word, so as to present the church to himself in splendor, without a spot or wrinkle or anything of the kind—yes, so that she may be holy and without blemish. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as they do their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hates his own body, but he nourishes and tenderly cares for it, just as Christ does for the church, because we are members of his body. ‘For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ This is a great mystery, and I am applying it to Christ and the church. Each of you, however, should love his wife as himself, and a wife should respect her husband.
And just in case we are still unsure what “love” truly means here are some scriptures I use to help me understand how I should love others, but especially my wife.
1 Corinthians 3:4-7
Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
1 John 3:16
This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.
Love is sacrificial. Love is patient and kind. Love is truth. Love is not envious, angry, rude, selfish, irritable, hateful, wrong. And most importantly, true love will never end. And that love that is represented here, and through Jesus is the same love we have to have for our wives. It is not easy, but the book gives us encouragement on page 31.
“It’s not hard for a man to love his wife, but sometimes it’s hard for a husband to show his wife that he loves her, and sometimes it’s hard for a wife to believe in her husband’s love. Don’t worry. You’ve done hard things before and so has your wife. Stay positive, and ask God to help you show your love through your actions. He will be glad to help you. After all, loving your wife is the Bible’s most important commandment for you.”
With Love,
Ayodeji Alaketu
